chap 8-9

1) The dialogue in the story isn’t bad. It seems as though the author had thought about the dialogue quite a bit. My suggestion for it would be to make the beginning a bit more interesting. Perhaps I say this because I haven’t read previous chapters but the girl characters’ relationships seem really boring or typical. I feel as though he could have also described the makeup scene more because smearing make up on may not be a bad thing or a good thing. I was looking for, does she look cute, ugly, weird? The beginning lacks detail that could change the mood coming into that chapter. In the end I think the dialogue was good but could be a bit more interesting
2) Adrian’s folklore is very cool. I thought it was pretty interesting but someone who doesn’t like mythical stuff wouldn’t necessarily look forward to reading such a long chapter about it .
3) Dorothy’s reactions are realistic but they aren’t descriptive enough. Show it not tell it is what we use at school and that aspect in this book could be the thing that makes it from an okay book to a great book. I want to know more about how she feels. The folklore and the description of Adrian needs to be applied to Dorothy as well. It would help spice up the writing and make the main character more interesting. She seems bland.
4) The cultural part of the story seemed a bit long but not quite forced. Just a bit unexpected as most cool guy people in the story wouldn’t usually talk about that kind of thing and may have been even a little more flirtatious.
5) Dorothy’s thoughts of how she feels about Adrian don’t clearly come across here. I think she is a bit boring, as most of the things that happen to her only her observation of it is given but not her thoughts or feelings about it. For example if a man saw a dime and observed it and came to the conclusion that it is shiney. (Well id want to know how does he feel about it, how does that affect his action? Does he pick it up?) so when Adrian does all of this stuff, I want to know how that makes her feel.
6) Adrian is okay, he isn’t very flirtatious which to me makes him just okay.